Family Therapy
Therapy for Adult Children, Siblings, and Parents
Families often seek outside help when there is a crisis or when the difficulty of being together becomes too painful. For adult children and parents, there’s a layered challenge: how do we engage each other as adults while still holding our lifelong roles of parent and child? I specialize in helping families navigate this terrain and discover a new way of being together.
Trying to “let go” of the past—though tempting—isn’t possible and often continues the struggle. Relationship patterns repeat themselves. We often end up having the same interaction, with the same results, again and again.
Attending to the past well can be a game changer. It can generate goodwill and loosen the gridlock of blame. But the willingness to do so is only the beginning. Listening to each other’s pain—especially when it involves our own behavior—can be one of the hardest things to do. Our emotions flare; they hijack our ability to stay open and collaborate. We try to convince, correct, or set the record straight. The conversation becomes a courtroom.
I help families notice their patterns—not as evidence for a guilty verdict like “See, it is your fault!” but as a way to understand each other more productively. When you speak to me like that, I usually feel like this. When I react to you like that, it usually impacts you like this. This kind of awareness can create the possibility for something new: we’ll work together to clarify what change is possible and feel dignity in the pursuit.