Family Therapy
Therapy for Parents, Children, and Siblings
Families seek outside help when there is a crisis or when being together becomes too painful. For adult children and parents, there’s a layered challenge: how do we engage each other as adults while incorporating our lifelong roles of parent and child? I specialize in helping families navigate this terrain and discover a new way of being together.
Trying to “let go” of the past, though tempting, isn’t possible and perpetuates conflict. Relationship patterns repeat themselves. We interact with the same results, again and again.
Attending to the past well can be a game changer. It loosens the gridlock of blame and generates goodwill. But the willingness to do so is only the beginning. Listening to each other’s pain, especially when it involves our own behavior, is hard to do. Our emotions flare and hijack our ability to stay open and collaborate. We try to convince, correct, or set the record straight. The conversation becomes a courtroom.
I help families notice their patterns, not as evidence for a guilty verdict like “See, it is your fault!”, but as a way to understand each other. When you speak to me like that, I usually feel like this. When I react to you like that, it usually impacts you like this. This kind of awareness creates the possibility for something new. We’ll work together to clarify what change is possible and feel dignity in the pursuit.